Yirah- Fear and Awe

I continue to wrestle with the concept of "Fear of G-d" or, "Fear of Heaven"... given a spiritual background that emphasized the notion of eternal punishment I no longer have room for this type of thinking.

I am finding ways to think about the fear of G-d (the Jewish Bible and spiritual writings are full of this notion) that make sense to me.

- Fear as accountability to our creator
- Fear as an "acute realization of G-ds presence" (per Duties of the Heart)
- Fear as a compelling desire not to disappoint one's beloved
- Fear as potential regret... knowing in eternity that one's choices resulted in a life not lived to one's full potential

All of these speak to Yirah as fear... the awe piece I'm good with.

It is a staggering thought that my each and every choice in each and every moment is:

- Seen and understood by G-d
- Causes G-d joy/pleasure or sadness/grief
- Moving me closer to G-d or further from Him/Her
- Refining or polluting my soul
- Impacting the reality of the heavens (per the Kabbalists)

It is also deeply sobering to think as Mussar does (C.S. Lewis says parts of this too) that G-d gifted me with a pure soul and what I make of my soul in this lifetime through my choices is my gift back to Her/Him as well as the soul I will live with for eternity.

Create in me a clean heart O G-d, renew a right spirit within me, lead me in your way.